Gratitude Doesn’t Cure Depression

Unpopular POV?

You would need to be hiding in a cave not to know hashtag gratitude is a top trend on Instagram. And yes - being grateful is a good practice. But - and this is a big but -  gratitude is not a cure for everything that ails us. 

We don’t tell people with a broken leg to practice gratitude and they won’t feel pain. We don’t say just ignore your strep throat and be grateful your leg isn’t broken. So why are people posting things like depression and gratitude can’t exist at the same time? Comments stating just practice gratitude every day and you’ll have joy and happiness in abundance

I’m all for having a gratitude practice and I’m in favour of practicing sensible mental health practices. And the two are not mutually inclusive. 

Suffering with clinical depression is not only debilitating in the extreme it is also extremely isolating. And often filled with guilt. So being told that here is another example of how it’s self-inflicted ie you weren’t grateful enough so it’s basically your own fault  is not just unhelpful it’s positively cruel. 

If you’re currently suffering from a mental health crisis please please be kind to yourself. Now is not the time to feel guilty because some person on the internet said you should be more grateful. Nor is the time to start a punishing exercise or eating regime. I would suggest it’s not a time to start anything new (please note I’m not a doctor this is just my humble opinion).

My best tip is to be super gentle. Read something easy and comforting - not scary or sad or ‘educational’. Just pick something pleasant. Watch reruns of your favourite shows. Research shows watching home improvement or gentle comedies work to soothe already agitated brains. Without going into all the science  it's the predictability and the repetition that calms the amygdala. 

When all you can manage to do in a day is have a shower then praise yourself for doing just that 🙌 And  if you can maybe, just maybe, get dressed as well that’s a real win. And on those days you can both shower and dress possibly think about a gentle walk outside. 

And the most important thing is to tell yourself over and over again this will pass.  This will change. You will crawl out of the darkness. Life will slowly get brighter. You are worthy of a life worth living. And when - and I promise you it is when not if -  you feel better let me know.  And we can start your mindfulness practice. Which will become a  cornerstone of your life going forwards. 

But first, just be kind and remember everything changes. 

Until next week, sending you metta

Allyjo