Talking to yourself

How to stop that self critical voice

I've got my granddaughter staying with me for the next few weeks. And having her with me is such a delight. And it's also a constant reminder of the power of words. 

When I’m playing with her or we're chatting or out riding her bike I carefully choose my words. I want to make sure she’s uplifted. That what she hears enriches her sense of self. She’s at the age where she looks up to me and believes that whatever I say is true so it really matters how I model my language. 

It also makes me think about what I say about myself.

It’s no use presenting words of power about her and to her  and then uttering disparaging statements about myself. But boy oh boy those self critical thoughts and words are ready to pop out. 

It’s not that I haven’t worked on my self talk but having a seven year old is a daily, if not hourly, reminder of the effort still to be made. And she’s one of  my motivations to keep doing the work. I want her to grow up secure in herself. Grounded and solid in her own sense of self. And that comes from seeing behavior modeled all around her. 

I know I’m not alone in the battle with a self critical voice. But I also know that the SCV can be made quieter if not entirely shut up. Here’s the tricks I use:-

I change the sound of the SCV - Daffy Duck is one of my favourites. Nothing sounds quite so bad when it’s spoken like a cartoon character

I thank the SCV and let it know I’m ok. I don’t need the old words anymore and it can simply go back to sleep.

I use EFT - and do a few rounds of tapping repeating “even though the critical voice is loud today I deeply and completely love and accept myself”

I practice mindfulness. I sit and breathe and accept the emotions that are coming up. I don’t try to change them nor do I try to hold onto them. I let the thoughts drift away like clouds on a breezy day. 

Let me know if you want to know more about how to,practice EFT or mindfulness at home. 

Always remember no matter what is happening in your world at the moment, everything changes. 

Sending you much metta

Allyjo